According to an online survey conducted by a leading U.S. newspaper, 81 percent of Americans knew several months before Mother’s Day this year that the day was being commemorated on May 12, but only 39 percent knew Father’s Day would be on June 16.
Seventy-eight percent of respondents indicated they would purchase a gift or greeting card for their mother for Mother’s Day, while only 36 percent said they would do the same for their fathers. This is substantiated by a report in Forbes magazine that expenditure on gifts for moms on Mother’s Day exceeds expenditure for dads by an average of $8 billion annually.
The conclusion some people may draw from all the above data, is mothers are more important in people’s lives, compared to their fathers. If this is true, what are the reasons more people care for their mothers than their fathers? Are there more absentee fathers than absentee moms? Do mothers play more important roles in the lives of people, than fathers? Or is the answer a combination of these reasons?
It is a fact that dads are loved by their children, but many people complain their fathers are not around to be loved. Actually, there have been several accounts of the pain and sadness many people feel on Father’s Day because they either do not know their father; or haven’t seen or hardly see or hear from their fathers as often as they would like to.
Others complain that their fathers never express love or warmth towards them as their mothers do. Unfortunately, some men think it is weak to be a sensitive man who expresses to their children, especially their sons, that they love them, much less hug them. Because mothers express their love more readily, they tend to be more celebrated on Mother’s Day, than fathers do on their day.
But there are other reasons why the celebration of Father’s Day tends to pale in comparison to Mother’s Day.
One reason is that Father’s Day came into existence some 58 years after Mother’s Day. It wasn’t until 1972 that Father’s Day became a holiday, as years ago fathers were mostly absent from the home working outside to support the family while mothers typically stayed home with the kids.
But today while many fathers still work several hours weekly, they try to live up to the expectations of their families, helping with housework and child-rearing.
Notwithstanding, mothers are more traditionally considered responsible for childcare than fathers. According to research, including that conducted by the Department of Labor and the National Retail Department, mothers are credited for over 40 hours of childcare weekly while dads are often credited for none because most dads spend time outside the home working.
Another reason is people tend to bond with their mothers because of the amazing wonder of childbirth. The pain of childbirth alone gives mothers the right to be celebrated as royalty. No man can compete with a woman’s ability to give birth. Moreover, most men cannot compete with a mother’s ability to keep the household together. Some fathers try, but mothers are usually the family’s loving glue, whose dedication, strength, tenacity, and love bind the family making a house become a home.
Although men cannot give birth, fathers nonetheless also play a large role in bringing a child into this world. Nature allows the female in all animal species to carry and bear the offspring. Men should therefore neither be ashamed nor denied celebration as fathers because they don’t bear the children.
Much too often some men are labeled as “deadbeat” fathers who do not support their children financially or emotionally and are missing in their children’s lives.
Today, here in South Florida, there are reports of many young men working tirelessly to acquire funds to provide for their children. And, while some men may be deadbeat fathers, there are also many deadbeat mothers who have walked away from the responsibility of rearing their children.
Irrespective of perception, today’s father is more involved with their child than ever before. More men are getting joint or shared custody of their children in divorce or separations. It’s reported there are over 46 million stay-at-home fathers in homes where mothers go out to work, something considered unthinkable years ago.
To erase the dichotomy between the celebration of both days, some people have proposed merging both celebratory days into one holiday: Parents Day, celebrating mothers and fathers simultaneously. This may not be a solution, however, as a national survey conducted years ago indicated that 78 percent of respondents would choose to celebrate with their mothers over their fathers if there was a Parent Day because the mother is regarded as the favorite parent.
While it is unlikely there’ll ever be a Parent’s Day, if the trend continues where more fathers become involved in their children’s lives, and earn the reputation as loving, caring parents, the celebrations for fathers may eventually catch up with those for moms.
