Mental Health From the Inside: Jamaican Comedian JulieMango shares her journey

Jamaican American comedian JulieMango, who currently lives and creates her famous comedic sketches from her home in Kansas City, Missouri, shares her mental health journey and advice for anyone suffering and those who love them.

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By Juliet Bodley “JulieMango”

It is funny that the world would have come to know me by my nickname, affectionately given to me by my dad Basil Bodley; that name being “JulieMango”. 

I hid behind the name JulieMango during my “meteoric rise to social media stardom” as people would put it, because the name represented the best parts of the real me: Juliet Angelique Bodley. 

I was ashamed of my name Juliet Bodley, because I associated it with years of mental health struggles, multiple suicide attempts (three worth noting), consistent self-mutilation, and struggles with my faith as a Christian. 

I associated the name “Juliet” with an unhappy, yet successful, engineer trapped in a body that she hates, but exuded dexterity in putting on a face of glee; pretending that she has everything under control. 

Whenever I heard my name, the transcript of all my failures and challenges would run across the movie screen of my mind like a teleprompter, causing me to relive every pain and anguish as though they all happened just yesterday. 

So, in a magical twist, when JulieMango became a full-blown moniker and something that people loved, I felt like this was the only version of me that would ever be acceptable. The comedian, the one that makes everyone laugh, the one who by God’s grace provides healing, helping everyone through a rough time, except herself. 

When I just started out, there were times when I would have posted a funny video, and while the world is laughing, I am writhing in emotional pain, because cognitive distortions and imposter syndrome took over my mind. 

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There are times when my eyes would be red and puffy in videos, but no one would guess that I was crying in-between takes, before takes and right after posting. 

This was recipe for the return of my suicidal tendencies even though I had a breakthrough from that. So, I had to go back into therapy. Not for suicidal tendencies this time, but for depression and anxiety made worst by being a content creator. 

I got a handle on my emotions and was able to once again find joy in what I do, which is to create content that by God’s grace makes other people happy and uplift them in more ways than one. I was able to have fun again. 

Because I know what it is like to be on the side where I am mentally ill, then be on the side where I am healing; I have the perspective from both sides of the spectrum as a patient and not a professional. Hence the title of my article, “Mental Health from the inside/”

I speak on things on mental health from the inside.

To what end do I share this information? I share it for two reasons. 

Firstly, mental health discussions are still somewhat taboo. And, secondly, on top of mental health being a taboo topic, it is also often spoken about by well-meaning professionals in the field; persons who are most times on the outside of the suffering. Whilst their information is factual and applicable, the delivery of it may come off as authoritative, out of touch, hammer-heavy and even judgmental. However, when you hear the advice from someone who has been through what you have been through, then you resonate more with what they are saying.  

What matters much more than the correctness of mental health advice is emotional resonance.

Emotional resonance happens when you feel empathy coming from the person, and you feel as though they are speaking with you and not to you or at you. It breaks down any resistive barriers and allows for communication and healing. 

Backtracking to my first reason, where mental health is taboo, it’s not that simple. There is a buzz going around now on mental health and everyone wants to talk about mental health, however we need to be keen on the deeper, more substantial opportunities for mental health to not be so taboo. 

These opportunities include but are not limited to: 

• Established first aid procedures for panic attacks or other mental breakdowns and disorders. 
• Physical provisions made within the workplace or other corporate areas for persons with mental health issues. 
• Sick leave considered applicable to mental breakdowns WITHOUT any repercussions when returning to the job. 
• And most imperatively, mental health as a part of the curriculum in schools. We teach children everything that the home cannot teach them – subjects such as chemistry, physics, biology, technical drawing, even home economics. However, we have forgotten that the underpin for the effectual usage of any other academic subject is a sound mind.

Overcoming stigmas about mental health 

Life will present its challenges, so it’s futile to try and rid life of all its unpleasant encounters. A cliche we often use is, “it’s not what happens to you but how you deal with it.” While that is true, the only way we will learn how to correctly deal with things is if we can be honest and open about the incorrect ways we currently employ, without fear of judgment or stigma. 

The stigma associated with mental health issues can be far more crippling than the mental health issue itself. The stigma needs to be broken. How do we break this stigma? By normalizing conversations and policies around mental health. The policies need to encourage conversation, understanding, and preventative measures rather than knee jerk, reactive, and draconian measures.

Every person who is reading this article already has a past, has already made mistakes, and already has things they are trying to heal from. So, all the recommendations above are great, but for the person who is already grown, now what?  

To you I say, you are me, and you are so many of us. You are not alone. Whatever ails you mentally, there is help available. Your brain is blessed with what is called neuroplasticity. This is a quality that allows you to totally change the way your brain thinks, and allows you to process and live differently. 

You do not always have to feel the way you do. Neuroplasticity allows you to change deep-rooted thought patterns.

Mental health is a spectrum, and we are all on it. Some of us are on the hard side of it and some of us are on the more pleasant side. The good thing about a spectrum is that you can move up or down the spectrum. In other words, you can ALWAYS get better, and live better. No one has to be stuck in a cycle; no one is ever hopeless. The mere fact that you were created, means that you were created for good things. I am telling you this, from the inside. 

As for me, life is a constant state of improvement and learning how to deal with battles as they come. Each day has its peculiarities, both good and bad. I am not where I used to be. I never knew improvement was possible. Therefore, like Paul the Apostle, if I don’t speak openly about the hope that I have experienced, it will be as though fire has shut up in my bones. 

I continue to make skits and my ultimate goals regarding content creation is to be on the big screen, professional movies, sitcoms etc. But, even greater than that, my aim now is to speak on mental health globally where it can profit a cause greater than me, and that cause is God’s goodwill and purpose which is to spread a message of hope when it comes to mental health. 

Juliet Angelique Bodley “JulieMango” is a popular Jamaican comedian and social media personality whose work can be found @iamjuliemango on all platforms.